In news today, the MPAA (Match Producers Association of America) have requested that Congress give them equal intellectual and copyright protection as their brother organization the Motion Picture Association of America by passing the "One Match, One Candle" law.
MPAA spokesperson Sparky McClaine explains "We are tired of people buying a small box of matches, and then diluting our profits by using a single match to light two, three, or even more candles before lighting a new one. This illegal copying is costing our industry millions, and is ultimately hurting the artisans who design our different match compistions and designs." When asked about the industry's position of using one candle to light another, Sparky continued, "That's the kind of P2P copying that this law would also outlaw. The fire pirates out there argue that they're doing no harm since the original candle remains lit and burning, but obviously this also negatively impacts our sales."
Congressperson Scrooge McDuck was asked about the likelihood of the bill's passage, but was unable to comment as he was busy asking his nephews' legal firm (Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe) about the current campaign laws regarding contributions he might have received from the MPAA...
In further news, we have learned that another organization, the RIAA (Repair Industries Association of America) is working on similar legislation to require single use tools under the banner "One Screwdriver, One Screw".
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